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Monday, September 23, 2002
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Was P. Diddy Invited?
GMSV pointed out this account of the $2.1 million 40th birthday party that L. Dennis Kozlowski, the former CEO of Tyco, threw for his wife (at least partly on Tyco's dime):
Guests arrive at the club starting at 7:15 p.m. ... Two gladiators are standing next to the door, one opens the door, the other helps the guests. We have a lion or horse with a chariot for the shock value. ... The guests come into the pool area, the band is playing, they are dressed in elegant chic. Big ice sculpture of David, lots of shellfish and caviar at his feet. A waiter is pouring Stoli vodka into [the statue's] back so it comes out his penis into a crystal glass. Waiters are passing cocktails in chalices. They are dressed in linen togas with fig wreath on head. A full bar with fabulous linens. ... We have rented fig trees with tiny lights everywhere to fill some space. 8:30 the waiters instruct that dinner is served. We all walk up to the loggia. The tables are all family style with the main table in front. The tables have incredible linens with chalices as wine glasses. ... Everyone is nicely buzzed, LDK [Mr. Kozlowski] gets up and has a toast for K [Mrs. Kozlowski].
Everyone is jumping from table to table. ... We start the show of pictures on the screen. At the end Elvis is on the screen wishing K a Happy Birthday and apologizing that he could not make it. ... A huge cake is brought out with the waiters in togas singing and holding the cake up for all to see. ... Elvis kicks it in full throttle. Waiters are passing wine, after dinner drinks, and there is dancing. 11:30 light show starts. HBK [Happy Birthday Karen] is displayed on mountain, fireworks coming from both ends of the golf course in sync with music ... the night is young.
An ice statue of David pissing Stoli? Would even the most unsophisticated high school student think that was classy? How big is the hole in Mr. Kozlowski's emotional life that he makes gestures like this to try to fill it? If one were feeling particularly generous, I suppose he could be commended for celebrating his wife's 40th birthday rather than disposing of her for a younger woman.
8:49:34 PM 
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What's Your Favorite?
Rolling Stone has published its list of the 50 greatest meltdowns in rock history. There's Michael Jackson (at number 1) and R. Kelly (at number 21), but my favorite is KISS removing their makeup (at number 47):
How we recoiled at the sight of these grizzled leather queens in the raw, as they instantly blew years of hard-earned mystique. Once the world got an eyeful of what Gene Simmons looks like with his makeup off, groupies filed suit to demand their blow jobs back.
With so many great meltdowns to choose from, how did the author decide on an order?
8:47:17 PM
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Has This Ever Happened to You?
You manage to find a seat on a crowded subway or bus, only to find that the man next to you is sitting with his legs splayed open, oblivious to how much he's crowding you, his two lower limbs forming a gaping V as if they were ready to sport a sign saying "Welcome to Peterborough."
This has happened to me, and I haven't yet figured out the proper snappy rejoinder. Any ideas?
8:21:34 AM
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Would Lawyers, Guns, and Money Help?
From Greil Marcus, this is very sad news:
Celebrated recording artist composer Warren Zevon, one of rock music's wittiest and most original songwriters, has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has advanced to an untreatable stage.
Marcus puts it best:
From afar he has been a good friend.
8:12:07 AM
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© Copyright 2003 Morgan N. Sandquist.
Last update: 11/2/03; 10:28:24 AM.
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