Do the People Who've Known You Longest Know You Least?
Over the last week or two, I've had occasion to take two personality-type tests--one professionally, and one therapeutically/recreationally. Both posed questions about how I feel or think about various interactions and activities, and for both, I answered the questions much differently than I would have even a year ago. They are supposed to elicit your underlying beliefs, ideas, views, etc., yet I found myself answering tentatively.
My first instinct was to answer these questions with what I had been taught or conditioned or whatever to believe, but I was aware that those answers didn't accurately reflect what I personally believe. I found the whole thing disorienting, and I'm putting it down to the effects of therapy. As my therapist puts it, I've been learning to express my authentic self. Admittedly, such terminology makes me cringe all the way down to my socks, but I don't know of a better way to say it.
This became still more tangible for me when I saw my family for Thanksgiving. While I've become gradually more comfortable with and better able to relate to others in my day-to-day life, back in my decades old family dynamics, I was eased back into playing my old detached role on auto-pilot. Ironically, the people who've known me the longest will be least able to see me outside of the role that they've made for me--as I get to know myself better, I will become more distant from them.
2:05:33 PM 
|
|
