From Essays After Montaigne
It is therefore meet that he make him first trot-on before him, whereby he may the better judge of his pace, and so guesse how long he will hold out, that accordingly he may fit his strength: for want of which proportion we often marre all. And to know how to make a good choice, and how far forth one may proceed (still keeping a due measure), is one of the hardest labours I know. It is a signe of a noble, and effect of an undanted spirit, to know how to second, and how far forth he shall condescend to his childish proceedings, and how to guide them. As for myselfe, I can better and with more strength walke up than downe a hill. Those which, according to our common fashion, undertake with one selfe-same lesson, and like maner of education, to direct many spirits of divers formes and different humours, it is no marvell if among a multitude of children, they scarce meet with two or three that reap any good fruit by their discipline, or that come to any perfection.
I have heard men of understanding hold this opinion, that the Colleges to which they are sent (of which there are store) doe thus besot them: whereas to our schollers a cabinet, a gardin, the table, the bed, a solitarinesse, a companie, morning and evening, and all houres shall be alike unto him, all places shall be a study for him: for Philosophy (as a former of judgemente, and modeler of customes) shall be his principall lesson, having the privilege to entermeddle her selfe with all things, and in all places.
All sports and exercises shall be a part of his study; running, wrestling, musicke, dancing, hunting, and managing of armes and horses. I would have the exterior demeanor or decencie, and the disposition of his person to be fashioned together with his mind: for, it is not a mind, it is not a body that we erect, but it is a man, and we must not make two parts of him.
My brother didn't do well in school, but, though I didn't fully apply myself, I did. This disparity proved unfortunate for many reasons. First (and most hateful to me), this provided superficial confirmation of all manner of ignorant stereotypes: the older white brother was quiet, well-behaved, and academically successful; the younger black brother was outgoing, athletically gifted, and academically challenged. Second, it led adults to develop a false sense of security about my emotional health (I was doing well in school, so they assumed that I was fine), which in turn led to my receiving far less emotional support and guidance than I needed. And finally, my brother's significant intelligence was not discovered, nurtured, or developed as it could have been, which has made many aspects of his life far more difficult than necessary, and has no doubt been detrimental to his sense of self-esteem.
While it's abundantly clear that my brother and I have very different native gifts, it's by no means clear that I'm any brighter than he is. Schooling, at least as it was practiced when and where we were children, followed one self-same manner for all children, regardless of the form or humor of their spirit. The education that we received played to my strengths and his weaknesses, without adjusting itself for either. If information can be structured or listed (the more objective, the better), I can learn it without much effort. But if the matter at hand requires imagination, intuition, or emotional engagement, I will struggle to learn it. A world of standardized tests is one in which I perform very well. My brother can learn structured information as long as he finds the structure intuitive, but there seems to be no limit to his ability to understand and use subjective, imaginative, or emotional information. Though I may have a far larger store of facts and frameworks at my disposal, it's very rare that I win an argument with him.
Given the turmoil that we moved through as children, we tended to rely on each other a great deal. We were close in age (I'm thirteen months older than he is), and until we were about ten, we shared a bedroom and were so close in size and proportion that we shared all of our clothes as well. We understood each other almost completely, as no one else understood either of us. Despite everyone telling me how bright, capable, and admirable I was, I lived in awe of my brother. I was good at what everyone around me was good at, what I was taught to be good at. But my brother's power over others--his deep, natural understanding of what others need and want--wasn't something that he was taught, and he certainly didn't pick it up from anyone in our family. I would have given anything for his physical reflexes, for the power of his body and the control he had over it. I cannot begin to describe my envy at the frequency and wisdom of his smile. And he even claims not to fear death.
Most people grow up in a family of people like themselves, living in communities of people like themselves. My brother and I each had, from our earliest memories, someone right there who was as different from ourselves as could be imagined. Finding yourself in such a situation with so little emotional guidance can be a struggle, but we trusted each other in some innate way, and I believe that I profited immeasurably from the experience. I hope that my brother would say the same, but I fear that he might not. He always got far less recognition than he deserved for what he brought to me and our family. I've always felt that people desperately want to be around him, but don't necessarily respect him. That's their failing, not his. And that failure of the adults around him robbed him of the education that he should have had, the education that would have developed his prodigious gifts.
8:00:49 AM 
|
|
