From Essays After Montaigne
For the Auditors ignorance lends a faire and large cariere and free libertie, to the handling of secret hidden Matters. Whence it followeth that nothing is so firmly beleeved as that which a man knoweth least; nor are there people more assured in their reports than such as tell us fables, as Alchumists, Prognosticators, Fortune-tellers, Palmesters, Physitians, 'and such like.' To which, if I durst, I would joyne a rable of men that are ordinarie interpreters and controulers of Gods secret desseignes, presuming to finde out the causes of every accident, and to prie into the secrets of Gods divine will, the incomprehensible motives of his works. And howbeit the continuall varietie and discordance of events drive them from one corner to another, and from East to West, they will not leave to follow their bowle, and with one small pensill drawe both white and blacke.
It suffiseth a Christian to beleeve that all things come from God, to receive them from his divine and inscrutable wisdome with thanksgiving, and in what manner soever they are sent him, to take them in good part. But I utterly disalow a common custome amongst us, which is to ground and establish our religion upon the prosperitie of our interprises. Our beleefe hath other sufficient foundations, and need not be authorized by events. For the people accustomed to these plausible arguments, and agreeing with his taste, when events sort contrarie and disadvantageous to their expectation, they are in hazard to waver in their faith.
The Preacher tells the story of Stan and Carol's attempts to have a child. After spending many years and a great deal of money, they were unable to do so. At the point of their deepest despair, Carol received a call from one of her former elementary school students, who asked if Stan and Carol would like to adopt the child with which she was pregnant. They adopted Elliot. According to the Preacher:
Carol says God had them wait all those years because God knew Elliot was going to need a family.
I don't mean to criticize Carol in any way. The Preacher goes on to describe the depth and strength of her wisdom and faith, and, like him, I stand barefoot and in awe. Yet as he himself puts it, her thinking "doesn't jibe with [his] ways of thinking about God, but Carol is expressing things that are beyond language." Her words don't jibe with my way of thinking about God, either, and I've pondered that.
I don't believe that God is playing our lives like a game of chess. As I became aware of religion, I was often told that all that happens is an expression of God's will. That made me angry. I felt robbed of my free will and thus my dignity. And I couldn't reconcile a benevolent God with one whose will is expressed in so much pain and suffering. I became embittered. Borrowing from the script of that jackass on Inside the Actors Studio, my wife once asked me, "If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?" I audaciously replied that I'd like to hear Him say, "I'm sorry." I wanted an apology for the suffering, the difficulty, the uncertainty, and the struggling that He could have spared us.
But perhaps God set creation in motion and withdrew, leaving its progress and outcome to the will with which He endowed His creatures. It took me years to consider that distinction and understand its importance. I've come to believe that He made the chess board and everything on it and that He defined the rules within which the game will be played, but that thereafter His role has been one of interested spectator. Admittedly, God's ability to spectate would be beyond our conceiving. From His vantage point beyond the illusion of time, all would be visible. What looks to us like a series of successively occurring events would look to Him like a single whole object. There would be no now, before, or after, and there would be no uncertainty. Perhaps someone cleverer than I am can use that perspective to reconcile our limited and apparently conflicting notions of destiny and free will, but I'm not quite up to that.
What I am up to is suggesting that we as a whole might be responsible for what happens to us as a whole (bearing in mind that "we" and "us" may include far more than humanity). All that happens wouldn't be an expression of God's will--it would be the cumulative expression of all of our wills. So rather than attempting to gain what knowledge we can of God by examining what has happened, maybe we should use whatever understanding we have of God to decide what will happen next. Where each of us is in relation to God would be the result not of where He has placed us, but of where we have decided to be. Are we with God in eternity, or apart from God, trapped in time? If I'm blessed enough to find myself with God, a simple "Welcome" would more than suffice.
7:47:34 AM 
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